#actually now that I spell it out what the fuck

[oceantornadoo]

ch7 something borrowed something blue (mafia!price x simon's sister!reader)

tw: oral sex both ways

masterlist | next

John Price thrives on routine. His days are filled with meetings and bloodshed, negotiations and betrayal. Routine keeps him sane.

Unfortunately, that resolution crumbled the moment he gained a wife. It’s getting harder and harder to leave in the morning, to ignore the fluttering of your eyelashes as you feign sleep. That’s what he blames for this break in routine.

The morning after, he stays for ten minutes instead of five. Counts the ticks of the old clock in the corner of his room as he memorizes the scent of your skin. You always end up with your head in the crook of his neck, legs tangled around his torso. He’s never been much of a back sleeper, but now it’s the last thing he cares about. It’s the sound of your breathing, the plushness of your skin, the brush of your chest against his. When he eventually gets up, he doesn’t look at the bed until he’s ready. If he glanced back at your eyes in half-slits, shifting closer to his pillow to soak up the remaining warmth he left in the bed, he would never leave the room. 

At night, though, he succumbs to his weakness. He creates a new routine.

It’s the start of a new week after the getting-off confession. John had business in Glasgow over the weekend, lonely and cold in his hotel bed, but now he’s back.

“So Laswell sent me the contract. I definitely have enough to pay in full, but I’m thinking of paying half and then doing installments for the rest so I can have enough for immediate repairs. What do you-John?” John’s nodding along to your rant, disappearing under the covers to the place he’s been thinking about all weekend. The blanket’s a bit heavy, limiting his breathing, but it’s worth it for the sight of your clothed cunt, waiting for him.

“Keep talkin’, sweetheart.” Instead of following his orders, you peel back the cover until his head peeks out. “What are you doing?” He rubs circles into your thighs, reveling in their softness. John moves upwards, teasing the fabric of your pajama shorts. “You miss me this weekend?” He murmurs, not sure if he’s talking to his wife or her cunt. Both seem happy to see him, if that’s any consolation.

“No, I actually got the best sleep of my- hey!” He shoves his face into the triangle of your lap, sniffing with wonder. “Fuck, I missed ya.” You’re silent at his admission, but your hand finds a hold in his hair. “You did?” It’s soft and unsure, forcing him to rip his focus away from your pussy. “I did.” You bite your lip adorably. You tug him forward, gripping his scalp hard, until his face is in front of yours. 

“Maybe next time, you take me with you.” Absolutely not. He was meeting with a new prospective manufacturer, shady and dangerous. He was not putting you in any sort of danger. John shakes his head, heart clenching as your face falls. “Not the kind of place fer you, baby. Gonna let me eat you out now?” You nod, but your face is still hard with repressed emotion. He kisses your forehead, trailing down to your cheek, then nose. “Give us a kiss then.” It’s the first time you’ve ever kissed him first, the notion sending blood straight to his cock. The kiss is short and sweet. Can’t believe how quickly you’ve gotten him under your spell. Two bloody weeks. He pulls away, a final kiss laid to your jaw. “Keep talkin’. Don’t mind me.”

The new routine continues for weeks. He gets you off a different way every night, from fingers to tongue to plain old grinding. And then he goes to sleep with you tucked to his side, taking care of himself in the morning. John needs you to be the one to ask to fuck, to reciprocate. The alternative leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Plus, every time he gets you off, you fall asleep immediately, like it’s the only way you’ll go to bed. It’s terribly endearing.

A month in, he starts noticing changes. The furniture in the sitting room, for one. They used to be 18th century relics, designed to make sure a guest didn’t overstay their welcome. Except now they’re eclectic, blue and green against the cream walls. The couches look comfortable, like you could spend a whole day there. The paintings change as well, from Rembrandt to Monet and Picasso. The impressionist works, blues and greens and yellows, work well with the new furniture, making his flat seem like a home. When he asks you, all you do is shrug and say something smart about updating his old man apartment. He leaves bite marks on your thighs that night. 

It’s a beautiful Friday night when John gets home early, around 9. He usually gets text updates from Terrance, your commandeered security guard that Price assigned to you full time, about your movements. You’ll usually get home at 7, but nothing yet. Two hours late. He calls Terrance and gets his voicemail. Highly unusual. Calmly, he presses on your contact's name, and it goes to voicemail. Three times.

Fingers shaking, he calls Kyle.

“Sir?”

“Where is she?”

“Who?”

“My fuckin’ wife, Garrick.”

“Isn’t she with Terrance?” “No one’s answerin’ their goddamn phone.” Gaz sighs on the other end, like this is an inconvenience and not his wife they’re talking about. Keys click, then a mouse, before Gaz answers. “They’re at the bookstore. Been there since this mornin’, sir.” John drags a hand down his face, then grabs the keys to the car he barely uses. 

“Garrick, this is the last time you take more than three seconds t’ know where she is. I want a full team on ‘er at all times. I won’t hesitate t’ assign someone else as my Head of Security, someone who isn’t lettin’ their judgement take over their goddamn job. Copy?” He hasn’t dressed down one of his men, especially Kyle, but he’s tired of the man’s judgement on this marriage. What’s done is done. “Yessir.” John hangs up, too miffed to say goodbye. He’s got a wife to find.

-

Your bookstore is coming along well. It’s been over a month since you’ve been married, a month of John’s fingers and tongue loosening you in more ways than one. You swear you’ve developed stronger thigh muscles, simply from the orgasms he coaxes from you night after night. And then he just goes to sleep. You’ve felt his cock in fleeting touches, brushing against your thigh or hard in his lap as you grind on him. He never takes it out, never drags your hand in that grueling way men do with shady eyes and slimy smirks. Every night, he asks you if you hate him, and every night, your lie convinces him less and less. 

And every night, you think of how adamant he was against you joining him. His insistence that it “wasn’t the kind of place for you.” Your old problem with him has faded, a mess of childhood fears rolled into new ones. In its place are your insecurities, the word bastard floating through your head every time you think of his rejection. The clause in the marriage contract. It rolls together into a simple thought: he doesn’t trust you. That’s why he’s barely let you in on his business, content to stick with late night chats and orgasms. It should be fine, it should be what you wanted, but instead you feel a hollow hole in your heart where the word ‘friends’ lives. Even friends should share their secrets. 

But back to the bookstore. Your new baby. This first month was full of cleaning, dusting out odd corners and greasing creaky door hinges. You listed a hiring notice on online job boards, looking for an assistant to help with the grunt work. Which landed you Phil, a wonderful addition to the team. He was around your age, an American with sandy blond hair. Handsome in a basic way, something you noted and never thought of again. Terrance ran a background check on him, something you gladly consented to, and insisted on helping you interview him. It took a week of recon, but he was officially your new assistant as of two weeks ago. An amazing help around the store, handy with tools. You’d told Phil that you were the daughter of a lord, a minor lie to explain the bodyguard. He shrugged it off, the ex-pat seemingly used to the oddities of London.

Now that the space had been cleared, it was finally time to paint. Terrance insisted that he couldn’t help too much, his main duty too important, but with the help of Phil, you convinced him to paint the walls with you. You all left your phones in the half-fixed office, donning plastic sheets to protect from paint splatter. Your business plan, formed from your downtime during the day and shaped by your late-night conversations with John, was to have a store section and a community section. The community section would be at the front, with a beautiful light blue accent wall, perfect for book influencers. It would be surrounded by comfy couches and warm lighting, complete with a cafe space you intended to build out. Your idea reminded you of the library waiting hours away, with its own fireplace and furniture. You decided to recreate that cozy feeling and bring it to the public.

Farther into the building there would be bigger shelves for rows and rows of books, organized by type. The color scheme was influenced by the one in your home, as you decided to hand paint metal shelves light blues, greens, and yellows. Most would be bought, but you were planning a book drive far out for people to donate old books and get discounts on new ones. It’s an idea you had wanted to do in Manchester but never got around to.

Now that the front of the store was cleared out and bare, it was time to paint. The hours fly by as you paint the light blue wall while Phil and Terrance work on a cream wall on the other side. When you blink, the sun is already down, and your watch is flashing 10PM at you.

“Guys it’s almost ten! I think we ought to lay down the brushes for tonight.” Phil opened his mouth to respond but is cut off by a harsh pounding at the locked front door. It was supposed to be clear, but there was newspaper on all of your windows to prevent the glass from getting paint on it. Frowning, you moved to open the door, but Terrance stopped you with his arm out, his other hand reaching for his gun. “Go into the office, ma’am.” You followed his command reluctantly, Phil following on your heels as you went into the back office. It didn’t have any windows, so it was a space you did not want to be in for a while. Phil looked nervous, running his hand through his hair and tapping his foot on the ground.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Phil. Probably one of the neighbors complaining about our music.” You insisted on a jam session as you painted, blasting music from a speaker you stole from the Castle. “Shady things happen in London no matter what time, boss.” You shrug, picking up your phone to quell your nerves. A glance at your notifications explains everything.

Oh no.

You burst from the office, phone already returning one of your many missed calls. That’s when you ran into your husband, face hitting his hard chest with a harsh oof. “Christ, sweetheart, gave me a near heart attack.” John steadied your shoulders with his large hands, anchoring you in his grip. His brow was furrowed, eyes crinkling in worry as he scanned you up and down like he was looking for injuries. “You didn’t answer-” “Everything good out here?” Fuck. Phil.

“Who are you?” It was a tone you’d never heard come out of John’s mouth. You imagined it was his mafia man voice, gruff and short like he had a better place to be. John shoves you behind him, reaching for his gun. You rolled your eyes, hand covering his to stop a potential shoot-out. 

“John, he’s my-” “Assistant, sir. Good to put a name to the face, I’ve heard a lot about you.” You could practically hear Phil winking, laying on the Southern charm. You wrestled out of John’s grip, stepping out from behind his back. Phil’s hand was out for a handshake, but John hadn’t taken it, scanning the man up and down with suspicious eyes. “Funny, ‘cause I’ve never heard about you.” John tore his gaze away to catch yours, eyes slanted in anger. “I don’t have to tell you everything, John. I’ve got my own life, you know.” He looked almost hurt at your words, which couldn’t be true. Sure, you were fucking, but it’s not like this was a normal marriage. You knew he wouldn’t have wanted Phil working with you, just on the basis of him being a man. You didn’t want to be micromanaged by your own husband, so you simply hadn’t got around to telling him. 

“C’mere.” John tugged you towards the office, his grip hard. You could hear Terrance telling Phil to go home and wait for an update. Probably for the best. You imagined Terrance following him out, then debriefing with John’s driver about how much of an asshole their boss was.

“Why didn’t ya tell me?” John asked, arms crossed and face red. He’d shut the office door but remained standing since there wasn’t any furniture yet. “Because I knew you’d get like this.” You spit out, crossing your arms to mirror his. “Fuckin’ concerned fer the security of my wife? Tha’s a bad reaction?” You took a step back from him, crossing your arms tighter so you could pinch your waist, a reminder to stay strong.

“Controlling and caveman. This is my place of work, John, and you’ve embarrassed me in front of my coworker.” He doesn’t meet your eye, staring at the door so hard it might burst into flames. He looks like a predator ready to pounce, muscles trembling from restraint. “Ya don’t realize how many enemies I have. Every person needs t’ be checked.” Did he think you were stupid? “I had Terrance check him out. I know you don’t want me around your work, but I’m not an idiot, John.”

His rejection of your offer to travel with him weeks ago had stung more than you cared to admit. He clearly didn’t trust you, only seeing you as someone to fuck around with. You didn’t realize how far that lack of trust went.

“He should’ve reported it to Gaz.” John mutters. “He did. I know that for a fact.” John ran a hand through his hair, then dipped down to tug at his tie. “He didn’t fuckin’ tell me. Christ, he’s worse than I thought.” You wanted to ask what that meant, but you bit your lip instead. He obviously didn’t want to tell you.

“Look, I know I’m a bastard and you had that goddamn clause in the contract, but you can trust me. I’m not running around behind your back.” That got John’s gaze to snap back to you, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Tha’s wha’ ya think this is about?” You nod, suddenly unsure. “Sweetheart, that was Gaz’s idea. T’ see if you’d argue. I intended for you to ask fer another cheatin’ clause fer me, but ya didn’t so I let it go. ‘S nothin’ like tha’. Plus, I didn’t know ya then. I know ya now.” Oh.

“So you trust me?” What about the trip? You wanted to ask, but you figure that would show your hand too much. John nods slowly, uncrossing his hands to put them on his hips. “Don’t care tha’ yer a bastard. ‘M not fuckin’ anyone else, either. I’m just concerned fer yer safety.” He takes a few steps towards you, gauging your reaction to see if you step back. You don’t, uncrossing your arms and praying they don’t shake. He grabs your hands in his own, blue eyes swimming with openness. There are so many things you want to ask him about: your childhood, his father, the future. They all fall to the wayside when he leans down to kiss you, a gentle brush of his lips against yours. “If I didn’t trust ya, ya wouldn’t sleep in my bed.” He kisses your forehead, then cheek, before pulling back. “I need ya t’ believe me.” He demands it seriously. A sudden rush of affection hits your heart. He looks so truthful, so concerned, and you want to show him that same care back.

You lower to your knees. John steps back, unsure. “Sweetheart, ya don’t have to.” You shake your head, beckoning him to come near. “I want to.”

John tugs off the blazer he’s wearing, folding it into a light pillow. He squats down on his haunches, eyes on yours. A warm hand brushes your knees, urging you up so he can slip the blazer under them. He then stands; blue eyes dark as he brushes your cheek with his thumb. “Go’on, baby. Take whatever you want.”

You reach for his black belt, unfastening it with trembling hands. It unclips with ease, and John’s hands, hairy and veiny and strong, cloud your vision as he unfurls it from his belt loops. You continue downwards, undoing the midnight black of his button. You unzip slowly, licking your lips in anticipation. His fingers brush back the creases on your forehead, trailing down to brush the shell of your ear. “Feel ok?” You nod at his question, cupping him through his boxers. John releases a sharp exhale, a heady sense of power coming over you. You work the pants down fully to give you room, petting him this way and that.

Finally, you peel down the dark fabric of his boxers. He’s hairy but well-maintained, similar to his fuzzy torso you’ve felt in bed. His cock is thick and heavy, wet with precum as it slaps against his upper thigh. You tuck his boxers down to give you room, then start exploring. Kitten licks to the base of him, his hair tickling your nose. Your hand joins you to squeeze his balls, eliciting a sharp groan. John tugs on your hair, more out of instinct than control. “You feel ok?” You throw his words back at him, a cheshire smile growing as he moans again.

“Christ, those fuckin’ hands.” He responds. You move to start stroking, licking him from base to tip. He tastes like salt and musk, but clean with the scent of pine. It’s the most addicting scent on earth. After he’s wet and leaking, you steady yourself with a hand on his upper thigh and the other on your husband’s cock.

You finally take him in your mouth, tongue swirling around his tip. You hum and his grip on your hair tightens. “‘M gonna fuck yer mouth sometime.” You let go of him with a pop, leaning backwards. “Not tonight?” He shakes his head, reaching down to pump his cock in your absence. “I’m a few strokes from cummin’, sweetheart. You look too goddamn good on yer knees.” That earns a grin from you and a renewed sense of vigor.

You suck him hard this time, your hand making up the length you can’t cover. You work yourself into an easy rhythm, up and down as he cradles your face. It’s much softer than you’ve ever experienced from a man, careful and protective. He wasn’t kidding about how close he is, harsh pants emitting faster and faster from his chest. “Where d’ya want me, baby?” You don’t respond, keeping him in your mouth. All you do is blink sweetly, willing your eyes to look bigger than usual. “Fuckin’ perfect, my wife.” That sends a jolt to your heart, and you have to stop yourself from accidentally biting down. Instead of responding, you stroke faster and faster. His abs tense, and you pull back just slightly, letting him coat your tongue and lips. It’s salty but not bitter, a marker of how fucking healthy he is. You lick your lips, swallowing thickly. His thumb brushes off a bit from your nose, pushing his thumb into your mouth. You suck hard, like you did the night he first fingered you. He continues cleaning you up, careful and quiet in his movements. John tucks himself back into his pants and offers you a hand to help you off the floor.

“Your knees sore?” He whispers. You shake your head, suddenly feeling exposed despite not having taken your clothes off. “C’mere.” He tugs you into his arms, tucking you under his chin. “We good?” He asks. You want to say no, want to ask him all the questions swirling around in your head, but all you do is nod and hold him closer.

-

In the car, John’s hand on your thigh, your phone vibrates. It’s Phil.

Everything ok?

Yep! Marital problems, all good.

Your husband is intense.

He’s a sweetheart for me, all that matters 🙂

Good to know. See you tomorrow.

His tone is odd, but you shove that thought from your mind. John squeezes your hand, and you tuck your phone away, content to focus on your husband. Phil is the farthest thought from your mind.

-

um. smut. now they're like friends with problems? idk enemies got boring.

-

@heretoreadanddrinktea

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[pretend-i-don-t-exist]

sy trying to create a pidw au would be so funny

i feel like he'd actually commit to it to spite airplane. at first, it garnered attention bc it was from the peerless cucumber, notorious critic and biggest pidw hater, so ofc they're all curious how pidw would look like in his eyes. it was surprisingly (well not really, considering the tens of paragraphs peerless cucumber wrote during his rants, all of which have immaculate grammar and spelling— bc ofc he can't let anyone find something to nitpick on his review so they're forced to see the point!) well-written and definitely more plot-focused.

majority of the readers disappeared after the first few chapters, mainly because of the lack of smutty scenes, but those that do remain are very engaged. one of them is airplane's burner account, when he needs to separate himself from his airplane persona. he's really, really curious as to what his hater is doing to his work.

he... he actually likes it. it's not really the novel he envisioned when he was first working on pidw, nor does it contain all the elements of his original draft, but it was good. he likes it a lot better than what pidw turned out to be.

airplane spent so much time contemplating and considering before finally saying fuck it, and dms peerless cucumber to see if he can work as a co-author with him and they can rewrite pidw together. he even sends parts of the original draft (what was left of it, anyway) as incentive!

it takes a long week before even peerless cucumber replies, and by then he has written a novella detailing how much better the original draft was and him screaming very informally at why airplane had to cast it aside.

lol i need money bro im broke af and porn sells, airplane answers.

it takes another week before peerless cucumber finally answers. then live with me, his message reads. no rent. i'll pay for whatever food you want. and whatever bills you have. just write a good fucking novel, i swear to god.

airplane thinks it's a joke, until he receives the address. an actual penthouse. in the richest streets of guangzhou. there is also a request to meet up (seeing as they don't actually know each other, and sy's brothers are very intent on not getting him murdered in his sleep) and airplane, after much, much thinking, accepts.

airplane does not really know what to feel when he finally meets and talks to shen yuan— pampered third son of a very wealthy family, with two protective older brothers and an even more protective little sister— and sy is just. well. he's exactly airplane's type. the beautiful, ice prince who apparently has only shown this much emotion around airplane. sy's meimei had told him cheerfully and then threatened to gut him if he so much as steps a foot out of line. airplane is starting to feel like he's just met a mafia family.

shen yuan's family aside, airplane is actually living his best life. he no longer has to worry about money. he lives in a luxurious (gods he has never seen such a large bedroom before wtf) penthouse without needing to pay rent (!!!) and utilities (!!!) and even food (!!!). he can write as much as he wants. this must be what artists felt like when they're taken care of noble families in exchange for their art.

he does... well. he and peerless cucumber are friends now. they work on the rewrite together. airplane keeps finding out many things, like how shen yuan likes his tea with a lot of honey, dislikes milk chocolate, and prefers drawing over writing. he also runs hot during the night, when he sleeps.

how does airplane know that? well. bros gotta do what bros gotta do. it's a good thing they both like to cuddle.

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

54. everybody wants you (written)

prev // m.list // next

Karaoke sounded like a good idea, but seeing all these strangers staring at the bunch of drunk assholes who just arrived makes you have second thoughts about it. Different from other karaoke places you've been to, this seems more like a club. There are private rooms but they're too small and where's the fun in that anyway.

"Let's sing 'ME!'!" Beomgyu rakes your hand and basically drags you across the room to get to the improvised stage.

Your brain is foggy and you know you're gonna regret all of this tomorrow, but right now you're having fun. Just for tonight, Beomgyu is your bestie and your friends get along. Moreover, Yeonjun and Minho are still having the time of their lives taking shots and laughing with each other. This is almost too good to be true.

Beomgyu's voice is surprisingly alluring, even when he's drunk. You're dancing and screaming and it's just so fun.

"And you can't spell awesome without me!" You hear your friends sing along while you're both jumping around.

You don't even notice Yeonjun's eyes following your every move and his dorky smile that makes his eyes almost disappear.

"Listen to me!" Minho screams at him and they go back to whatever argument they were having.

Drink after drink, and song after song, the fun seems to be never ending. Yeji is having the time of her life with Felix and even Karina is having a few drinks with Lia. You really hope they end up dating or something, Karina deserves to be happy.

Yeonjun is just being his clingy self and it's been an hour since he decided you need to be in his arms at all times. Not that you're complaining. It's actually nice being with him after spending so much time with your friends. You love your friends, but you also love just existing with Yeonjun.

It's almost 4:00 am and the place is even more crowded than when you first arrived. Some of your friends are nowhere to be seen and a bunch of them are taking shots at the bar.

"You're having fun?" Yeonjun is so tender and soft, caressing your cheek as if you're made of glass and dragging his words cause he's just so drunk.

"I think you're the one having fun," you laugh and he just whines.

Not too far from there, Minho is drunk as hell and just complaining about everything to Chan. He keeps staring at you and wishing he was the one making you laugh right now.

"He's an idiot!" He says for the eleventh time.

Chan just keeps rolling his eyes at him. "You said you were gonna step aside."

"But I don't want to, why does he get the girl? It's not fair." He's just being childish and maybe even a little selfish.

"And what are you gonna do about it?" Chan is so done with this conversation.

"Something remarkable!"

Out of everyone in here, Minho is the last person anyone would expect to walk up to the stage and type the name of some mystery song.

"Cam I have your attention, please?" He sounds drunk and some people cheer, they're as drunk as him. "So, it has come to my attention that some shit is just not fair. Like I don't get it. I was there first and sure I messed up but it wasn't so bad. This doesn't make sense, but whatever. Fuck you, Yeonjun."

Some people laugh, even Yeonjun does, but a lot of smiles falter when the song starts.

"Oh my fucking god!" Beomgyu is almost hyperventilating in the background.

"Gleaming, twinkling..." Even when drunk, Minho's voice is sweet and surprisingly soothing.

Yeonjun smiles and even sings along. You're also having fun until you make eye contact with Minho and he doesn't look away. He's been looking at you since he got on that stage, he's been looking at you the whole night and you're now uncomfortably aware of it.

You take another shot and look away from him. It doesn't make sense. He's your friend, he's not singing about you.

The song ends and before Minho gets to say anything, Chan snatches the mic and makes a joke about having to pay Minho. Of course, it was a bet, you relax at the thought and go back to having fun with your boyfriend.

However, someone on the sidelines doesn't seem so convinced.

"This is gonna be a fucking mess..."

notes:

I'm really really really sorry for making you wait so much for the update 😭 (stuff came up and I was super busy but I think everything is falling into place so you won't have to wait as much for the next part)

made a mistake and forgot to add something but it's all done now 😅

Minho is drunk af

Chan is a real one

and I'm so in love with yn and jun (I almost feel bad for what's gonna happen in the near future)

taglist: open! (24/50)

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[bowsers-keep]

Compling all my Guilty Gear headcanons into one place

Most of these are actually headcanons friends had first but I've just incorperated them into my belief system. Under the cut cause this gets long.

LGBT+ Headcanons

Sol Badguy is a Butch Lesbian. No I will not explain why.

Ky is Genderfluid. I will stand by this till the day I die.

Dizzy is Pansexual! She loves her partner no matter what gender they currently are!

Slayer is the Token CisHet, because it is funny. Fruitest Vampire you've ever met and he's actually happily living with his wife, everyone else is some form of queer.

Genderqueer Izuna. Nuff said. He/She pronouns for them

On another Izuna note he's a man kisser. You cannot tell me she was born from the love a woman had for her husband and think he's anything but. Gay little fox thang.

The ending where Baiken just forsake all form of gender is forever iconic to me they are the nonbinary samurai in that one joke now.

Aromantic Johnny will forever be iconic to me. Just big brin genius play honestly. (He's also like Pansexual)

On the other side of the spectrum we have Asexual Nagoriyuki!

Also AroAce Potemkin. Feels right considering his reaction to Magnum Wedding.

In my heart Goldlewis is a Trans Gay man. He fucked clocked Bridget so hard during her Arcade mode. Old trans helping out a baby trans!

Giovanna feels bisexual to me, don't ask me why.

Leo is in a similar vein as in yeah that's a bisexual person.

Butch Lesbian Axl, yeah there's more of this. My friends are horrid influences <3

Neurodivergent Headcanons

Ramlethal is 100% Autistic

Actually all the Valentines are autistic as FUCK to me

Sin has that Audhd wombo combo

Leo has some godforsaken fucked up evil autism to be a guy WITHOUT FUCKING SLEEVES UNDER HIS JACKET!

In reality there is nobody in this cast who isn' some form of neurodivergent so I'll just run through funny ones actually.

Testament is that one kind of adhd where they cannot pick a hobby for the life of them

Goldlewis most certainly has cryptid austism, and he also does not know how far is too far in terms of asking questions.

While Slayer may be the token cishet, he is NOT the token neurotypical. That title goes to Anji for me personally, because funni.

World Headcanons

Mana Sickness. If you use too much Mana too fast there are repercusion!

Healing magic is a VOLITILE LITTLE FUCKING! It can fuck you up! (Aka what we think happened with Asuka's wing eye thing)

Idk how canon this is in particular but different people have different mana caps and magic affinity levels (Example: Johnny has piss poor magic affinity which is why he only knows like 4 spells top)

Misclenous Headcanons

Sin has a tail, you can't pry this out of my cold dead hands.

Giovanna really likes chocolate (I get to be self indulgent with her being Brasilian therefore this)

Out of the three kings of Ilyria, Leo is actually the workaholic! As much as he complains about paperwork it helps him take his mind off this survivors guilt and pstd. Ky has healthy coping mechanisms and Daryl is a dick.

June (One of the Jellyfish Pirates) is a music nerd!

Izuna will use his teleportation to fuck with people and prank them. This is an activity she enjoys very much.

Baiken just has hammerspace, just where else do they keep all their weapons???

Asuka R. Kreutz has a cane, nuff said. Pain haver.

Goldlewis is Johnny's Uncle. The guy from that one Xrd stage that's Goldlewis's brother? Yeah that's Johnny's dad now, they're estranged because after Johnny's Dad died Goldlewis just kinda drifted away from everyone else because his brother was the one guy who liked him there.

[lilvoidcreature13]

1. Where the fuck are you meeting snape fans who whitewash Snape and his actions? The biggest appeal to Snape fans is his grey morality, which is way more interesting than the majority of other characters. He's literally the smallest drop of realism in a very black and white book series. Also the majority of the Snape fans I interact with acknowledge that there were compounding factors to Severus's numerous problems, James is just one of those factors since James Canonically bullied him. Perhaps you're confusing Snape fans discussing pre-fifth year Snape as a discussion on post fifth year Snape?

2. What do you mean Severus wasn't an innocent little boy who got picked on? That literally what happened. James and Sirius literally started calling him Snivilous five minutes after knowing the guy because he wanted to be in Slytherin. Maybe I've been touching too much grass lately, but innocent ≠ good person, it means: not guilty of a crime and thus undeserving of punishment. Is wanting to be in Slytherin a crime to you? Is an 11 year old half blood raised in a muggle town 'supposedly' knowing more dark spells than a 17 year old wizard (an adult by their cultures standards) a crime worthy of punishmpent to the degree that the Mauraders dished out? Why don't you use some canon to justify you stance that an 11 year old deserved to be bullied.

3. Snape didn't bully the Mauraders, you need to put down the fanon and look at the actual canon, honey. He "gave as good as he got" according his his bullies but we seen in his memories that it was the Mauraders who initiated the fights, and I'm sorry to tell you this but someone fighting back does make them 'just as bad' as the people who started the fights. It's why things like Zero Tolerance Policy didn't actually prevent bullying.

Now if you wanted to make the argument that Snape bullied people, we have been told that he called other people mudblood before he called Lily it, which I would count as bullying. Then again, I've been told by Bambi Stans that name calling isn't really bullying so who knows 🤷🏽‍♀️. (I'm being sarcastic here, I'm just pointing out a hypocrisy I've seen in James Stans when it comes to bullying.)

4. It wasn't mutual. "Giving as good as you get" Isn't mutual when the Mauraders are the ones starting the fights. Also there's no canon that suggests Severus ever tried to kill the Mauraders, nor is there any canonical evidence that Snape ever put the Mauraders upside down, showed people their underwear and then threaten to take off said underwear. Those are the Canonical actions of the Mauraders.

5. Also what do you mean Severus stayed as a selfish racist his whole life? Did you not read the books? Or at least watch the movies? Because I don't know if you know this but he switched sides. He literally told one of the Black paints to not say mudblood around him. Where's your canon evidence that he remained a wizard racist?

5.5 your seriously gonna call Severus actions selfish? I don't know if you know this but when someone's selfish, they teld to act in a way that is self serving, they do what's best for themselves even at the cost of another being. What Severus did was promise Dumbledore anything in exchange for Lily's safety, after he found out he indirectly put her in danger with the prophecy. Did he actonhis guilt? Yeah, butto call this selfish issue nonsensical that I think sociologist aughtto observe you. A selfish person would have found a way to alleviate their guilt in a way that doesn't involve: Going to the enemy for help, offering up anything inexchange for the safety of another person, and putting themselves in danger by spying on the group that's known for torturing people for fun all in the name of protecting someone else. Then, when Dumbledore fails to uphold his side of the bargain, aka Lily still dies in the end, Snape still continues to stay by Dumbledores' side being a teacher, which he clearly doesn't like doing, while waiting for Voldy to comment back, even though Dumbledore wasn't able to keep up his side of the bargain. Snape then has to keep saving Harry from dangers the boy chases after in the shadows, doing this while not taking any credit or expecting praise. He literally turns himself into a murder, something he was apprehensive on doing, because two people have asked him to do it so Draco can be spared. These are not the actions of a Selfish man trying to alleviate guilt, guilt won't carry you to these kinds of lengths, self reservation overrides that.

6. The ages for 1 to 25 are the most formative years of our lives, our minds learn and absorb everything ad ingrains things into our minds so that we can still recall thigs we have learned when our brains are still developing. Of course Snape isn't gonna just 'get over it'. There are literally no avenues for him to 'get over it'. Therapy was heavily sigatized and did cost money. There was no justice, no one to say that what the Mauraders did wasn't ok, just people in a crowd laughing as Severus is pubically assaulted.

7. James never changed, he bullied people up until 7th year, dispite being head boy. He goes out, as an adult, and speads around muggles, gets chaised by the police and death Eaters, and decides to Levitate the muggle car up in the air to crash into the DEs, then they just leave the muggle police with the DEs, and then he dies. Marrying a girl does magically turn a shitty person into an ok person, "good girls can fix bad boys" is not evidence of a change in behaviors, it's a fanfiction trope.

These next parts are gonna hurt you feelings. I contemplated not saying this but decided that if you comfortable making statements like "he should get over it" you aught to be comfortable with hearing some actual critism.

As some who got her shirt ripped down in a hallway full of classmates as a 'joke' and got told tgat it was ny fault for being 'provacative' (aka having big boobs), you can go fuck yourself if you think Severus should just get over it. I try to be as nice as i can, but Im not always successful in that edevor when it comes to SA apologists. You don't get to tell survivors of SA that they need to get over it, other SA survivors don't get to tell their fellow survivors that they need to get over a formative event in their lives. Would you tell black people that they need to get over Slavery? Would you tell Jewish people, and the other groups that were killed in the camps, that they need to get over it? I don't know how your capable of saying something so un-empathetic and yet still make a post like this presenting yourself as a "hold Snape accountable, racism is bad" person. The mental gymnastics are Olympic Level.

And before anyone says: it's not SA. Go argue with the wall because there's only two reason you wouldn't consider SWM SA.

1. You thing exposing people's private area against their will is ok.

2. You don't think men can be assaulted.

In either case you need to stay away from people, your gonna hurt someone.

The psychology of snape lovers needs to be studied i fear

I don't like snape but you can if you want (none of this is that big of a deal) but the people who act like snape was perfect and all his problems were caused by James just baffle me. Yes the Marauders were bad to Snape, but Snape was not an innocent lil boy who happened to get picked on. He was just as responsible for his actions at that age as they were, if your going to hate James for bullying you have to remember Snape was doing the same thing! It was mutual hatred. Snape was not a helpless baby he was a wizard racist! He continued to be a selfish racist person his whole life and hated on children for no reason. He held grudges about things that happened at 15 till he was almost 40. He only left the deatheaters because they were going to kill lily, he didn't care if they killed James and Harry. He was selfish till he died, his friendship with lily was ruined by him and him alone. James was a rude 15 years old, but he grew as a person. Snape didn't.

[soup-of-the-daisies]

dunno why but orion black slapping the ‘best protective spells known to wizardkind’ on grimmauld place prompts the image of him knowing sirius ran away the moment sirius made the decision. like the house wakes him up all “MASTER!! MASTER THERE IS A DISTURBANCE!!” so orion goes to sirius’ room in his snork mimimi nightshirt and makes direct eye contact with his oldest son. who is halfway through the window with his school trunk and an ancient broom orion’s quite certain he bought for himself when he turned 23. and sirius lifts his middle finger to his mouth shush and flip orion off simultaneously and orion simply turns back around and goes back to bed. because that’s fair and most importantly something to deal with when he isn’t still half drunk from his nightly nightcap.

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

[faksyan]

Want to actually write out my idea of why John isn't Snake's real name now because I remembered about it yesterday and it's awesome. Like that would've made it an actual cool narrative decision that has some meaning instead of whatever the Jack/John thing is. Holding mgs names to any real-life standards to begin with is kind of wild tbh but to each their own. why is he named Adamska can anyone tell me where that's from (it's nowhere they made it up). who is Nastasha why is it spelled like that (they made that up too. babynames.com or whatever might tell you it's real and they're LYING). Shoot Gunner.

[jestiamy]

qsmp makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist almost constantly. I see someone go "yeah bad almost exclusively chooses tophats in games when given the option" and I immediately run back to my conspiracy board and pin that next to the photo of q!slime and q!mariana saying they'll adopt juanaflippa because she has glasses like q!slime/q!mariana respectively under a sticky note captioned "??? the original spanish-english egg pairs were designed in a way meant to attract certain parents to adopting them???", that's connected by red string to a note pad page stating "how random was the parent pairing REALLY?" with nothing under it - which is then connected to a string that leads to several polaroids containing the ending(s) of the wall and the wreckage of the button, captioned "why build a wall that big only to have it end at a certain point?" followed by a string connected to a notebook page in the middle of the board reading "the illusion of choice?" - connected to several other seemingly dead-end questions and theories, as well as some slight stragglers only connected to eachother and not the middle. and then I look over my board covered in feverish notes and I go. yeah okay so I may just have like a slight problem

[nostalgia-tblr]

oh yeah when the fuck did alicent have an extra son? how many kids are there??

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

Jimin: we're not the same as we were when we debuted, and it's hard to define us now as a group because we can't be neatly placed in a single box. life was simpler when we were young, despite the rigors of coming of age and finding ourselves. our goals and motivations were one dimensional: to make a shared dream reality. but now that we're older and our dream IS reality, the things that drive us have shifted and become more individualized, which has ultimately changed the dynamic of the group and made it more difficult to pin down exactly who we, as BTS, are and how each of our current creative interests align and fit together today and moving forward

Namjin: fuck yeah, we're complex and shit, like villains!

Jimin: ...yeah

and then Seokjin made a pun that may or may not have been on purpose and Namjoon encouraged it. then Seokjin got a little serious for a second and Jimin misread him and laughed and blamed it on Hoseok, who just smiled and nodded like sure, my sweet, tiny child, i will take the fall for you even though i literally did nothing, because i raised you and i love you and i know you didn't mean it and hyung probably won't scold me as bad as he would you because i'm the one who decides when dance practice ends

(paraphrased by me)

[fiona-fififi]

...

[blujayonthewing]

so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude

[bibleofficial]

me realizing that the slang term i’ve used to say ‘get scammed’ a) isn’t spelled that way & b) is actually a slur

[prentissluvr]

tw long rant and swearing!

hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))

i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.

[orcelito]

Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.